Sugar Loaf #22

Don't Give up!

2012-01-26T08:23:00.000-05:00

22 words....

Good Catch!

2012-01-23T18:23:00.002-05:00

15 things to consider about Abortion

2012-01-23T18:17:00.000-05:00

John Piper

1. Existing fetal homicide laws make a man guilty of manslaughter if he kills the baby in a mother's womb (except in the case of abortion).

2. Fetal surgery is performed on babies in the womb to save them while another child the same age is being legally destroyed.

3. Babies can sometimes survive on their own at 23 or 24 weeks, but abortion is still legal beyond this limit.

4. Living on its own is not the criterion of human personhood, as we know from the use of respirators and dialysis.

5. Size is irrelevant to human personhood, as we know from the difference between a one-week-old and a six-year-old.

6. Developed reasoning powers are not the criterion of personhood, as we know from the capacities of three-month-old babies.

7. Infants in the womb are human beings scientifically by virtue of their genetic make up.

8. Ultrasounds have given a stunning window on the womb that shows the unborn at eight weeks sucking his thumb, recoiling from pricking, and responding to sound. All the organs are present, the brain is functioning, the heart is pumping, the liver is making blood cells, the kidneys are cleaning fluids, and there is a fingerprint. Virtually all abortions happen later than this date.

9. Justice dictates that when two legitimate rights conflict, the limitation of rights that does the least harm is the most just. Bearing a child for adoption does less harm than killing him.

10. Justice dictates that when either of two people must be inconvenienced or hurt to alleviate their united predicament, the one who bore the greater responsibility for the predicament should bear more of the inconvenience or hurt to alleviate it.

11. Justice dictates that a person may not coerce harm on another person by threatening voluntary harm on themselves.

12. The outcast, the disadvantaged, and the exploited are to be cared for in a special way, especially those with no voice of their own.

13. What is happening in the womb is the unique person-nurturing work of God, who alone has the right to give and take life.

14. There are countless clinics that offer life and hope to both mother and child (and father and parents), with care of every kind lovingly provided by people who will meet every need they can.

15. Jesus Christ can forgive all sins and will give all who trust in him the help they need to do everything that life requires.

Partial Birth Abortion

2012-01-23T18:12:00.000-05:00

Most common surgical procedure?

2012-01-20T12:45:00.002-05:00

Abortion is now America’s most common surgical procedure performed on adults. As many as one out of three women will have at least one abortion. In some American neighborhoods, the number of abortions far exceeds the number of live births.

Most Americans will pay little attention to the 38th anniversary of the infamous Roe v. Wade decision. In 1973, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that a woman has a constitutional right to arrange the killing of the unborn life within her. Since that decision was handed down, more than 50 million babies have been aborted, at a rate of over 3,000 each day.

One of the most chilling aspects of all this is the sense of normalcy in American life. Abortion statistics pile up from year to year, and each report gets filed. Moral sentiment on the issue of abortion has shifted discernibly in recent years, as ultrasound images and other technologies deliver unquestionable proof that the unborn child is just that — a child. Nevertheless, the larger picture of abortion in America is basically unchanged.

Can I live?

2012-01-20T07:50:00.001-05:00

Don't take my money to kill babies

2012-01-19T14:02:00.002-05:00

Choose Life part 1

2012-01-18T08:27:00.002-05:00

Wahlberg on Faith

2012-01-16T19:23:00.000-05:00

Share the Good News

2012-01-16T14:25:00.000-05:00

The gospel is news. News has to be announced, communicated, written, and delivered with words. Think of any major news story or event: the reporter doesn’t seek to act it out, but he just delivers the news.

This is why I find it so confusing when I hear people say: “We’re just trying to live the gospel” or “We’re trying to be the gospel.” There is of course the well-known quote attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.” I’d argue that it’s always necessary to use words, because the gospel is news.

The gospel is the good news that God sent his perfect Son Jesus Christ to live, die, and resurrect on behalf of sinners, to save their souls and reconcile them to God.

As important as it is to do good works, care for the poor, nobody becomes a Christian and enters into eternal life because we gave somebody a sandwich; They get saved because they hear the preaching of the news of Jesus.

“
In other words, good works without good news do no good.
”

Good works that adorn good news do not only earthly good but also eternal good.

Use Words to Preach the Gospel

Paul told Titus that good works have their proper place when they adorn the gospel: “… but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior” (Titus 2:10). But to be clear, neither Paul, Jesus, nor any of the apostles never tells us that good works are the gospel. The gospel is a message that must be preached, proclaimed, and told using words.

I talk to so many people who go to the church where I pastor, and they tell me, “I’m just being really friendly and helpful. They know I am a Christian and when the want to know they will ask me.”

I ask two questions “Did you get saved because someone was nice?” and “Did you conclude from their kindness that Jesus is God, you are a sinner, Jesus died for your sin and rose from the dead as King?” The answer of course is no. They will just think you are nice. And then continue to walk in darkness.

You are not the gospel; Jesus Christ is the gospel. You are not Jesus; Jesus is God. Therefore you cannot live or show the gospel: you must proclaim it.

(resurgence- harvey turner)

B.C.S. part 4

2012-01-12T14:21:00.000-05:00

B.C.S. part 3

2012-01-11T09:11:00.000-05:00

you gotta be kiddin.....

Bad Christian singing Part 2

2012-01-10T08:06:00.003-05:00

sometimes it is better not to video yourself. case in point. someone said the dance moves are courtesy of Wesley Shell.... ?

Bad Christian singing part 1

2012-01-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

He said he "wore out" Brian Free...... :)

With Everything- Passion 2012

2012-01-09T12:26:00.000-05:00

New Year's Resolutions?

2012-01-01T20:47:00.000-05:00

Willpower Is Weak

There’s an assumption about human nature that is important to have in place as we think about New Year’s Resolutions: people do what they want to do. The Reformation theologian Thomas Cranmer held this view of human nature (as summarized by Anglican historian Ashley Null):

What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. The mind doesn’t direct the will. The mind is actually captive to what the will wants, and the will itself, in turn, is captive to what the heart wants.

An article in the New York Times only confirms that the will is weak when it shows that the overwhelming majority of New Year’s resolutions are doomed to failure. According to research, 80 percent of those who make resolutions on January 1 have given up by Valentine’s Day. Nutrition experts say that two-thirds of dieters regain any weight lost within a year, and more than 70 percent of people who undergo coronary bypass surgery fall back into unhealthy habits within two years of their surgery.

“
Confront the reality that your resolution is likely needed because you are not loving God with your entire being and not loving your neighbor as yourself.
”

“Most of us think that we can change our lives if we just summon the willpower and try even harder this time around,” said Alan Deutschman, the former executive director of Unboundary, a firm that counsels corporations on how to navigate change. “It’s exceptionally hard to make life changes, and our efforts are usually doomed to failure when we try to do it on our own.” If you’re going to make a New Year’s resolution, here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Not All Resolutions Are Good

Try to determine if the resolution is actually good. Are you planning on working out more? If so, is it because you want to be a good steward of the body God gave you or is it vanity? In reality, it is probably both. But what is the driving desire? Self-improvement or to glorify God?

2. Just Do It…

If your resolution is actually a good one, just do it. Go ahead and work out more, smoke or drink less, read your Bible more, pay down your debt and save more for retirement, focus on your marriage, spend more time with your children. Every once in a while, people start a New Year’s resolution and it sticks. But most don't. That’s because (1) you are sinner and (2) your heart is an idol factory.

3. Grace Actually Works

Confront the reality that your resolution is likely needed because you are not loving God with your entire being and not loving your neighbor as yourself. These two failures lead to havoc, discord, pain, and destruction. Jesus gave us the basic requirement: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:40).

That basic failure is why we need the gospel: Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection deal with the guilt and the stain of sin. Jesus is our propitiation and our expiation.

Jesus also gave us the Holy Spirit, who can change our desires and empower us to love God and neighbor. As Paul tells us, “it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).

4. God Gives Grace to Change

As Cranmer realized, our wills are captive to what our hearts love, and we are powerless to change ourselves without the work of God’s Spirit changing our desires. When you think through New Year’s resolutions, here’s a prayer as you ask God to work on your heart:

Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly wills and affections of sinners: Grant your people grace to love what you command and desire what you promise; that, among the swift and varied changes of the world, our hearts may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen (Book of Common Prayer).

Justin Holcomb

(Resurgence)

Debt Limit-

2011-12-30T11:11:00.002-05:00

oh no

2011-12-28T11:32:00.002-05:00

Poster Time!

2011-12-22T08:21:00.001-05:00

Great way to pull a tooth!

2011-12-21T11:26:00.002-05:00

Pets- a big buisness

2011-12-21T10:33:00.002-05:00

Source: frugaldad.com

I AM SECOND- The Phenom

2011-12-19T14:29:00.001-05:00

Vitor Belfort

Bad Morning?

2011-12-19T14:01:00.002-05:00

Dropping trucks

2011-12-16T08:33:00.000-05:00

Stars...

2011-12-15T20:34:00.002-05:00

Tebow

2011-12-13T09:13:00.000-05:00

Wanna Smoke?

2011-12-11T21:36:00.002-05:00

Source: http://frugaldad.com

Ha Ha

2011-12-08T18:59:00.000-05:00

On That Great Day-

2011-12-07T10:44:00.000-05:00

Til Death do us Part

2011-12-05T21:53:00.000-05:00

Dr. Robert H. Mounce, president emeritus of Whitworth College, has served as an important biblical commentator (especially on the book of Revelation in the NICNT series) and as a Bible translator (involved early on in the translation of the NIV and serving on the translation committee of the ESV—where he served with his son Bill, author of the widely used Basics of Biblical Greek Grammar).

A filmmaker was recently able to capture a brief snapshot of Dr. Mounce as he cares for his beloved wife through her extended illness. Dr. Mounce will be 90 at the end of the year, and his wife is 91.

This is what love and faithfulness looks like:

(Justin Taylor)

Linus

2011-12-05T10:29:00.000-05:00

Linus quoting Luke 2:8-14

WalMart

2011-12-01T22:23:00.002-05:00

Source: http://frugaldad.com

How did you Score?

2011-11-30T08:04:00.000-05:00

by John Acuff

Growing up as a Pastor’s kid, I didn’t have many opportunities to participate in the Christian sport of Church Hopping. If you don’t go to your father’s church on Sunday morning, you might as well punch him in the face on the way out the door. But what I lacked growing up, I made up for in college, as I became a semi-professional church hopper.

I say semi, because I didn’t know all the rules of the game and didn’t properly focus on doing all the little things that make a world class church hopper. Fortunately, for you, and millions of other people that want temporary church experiences, I have organized them into one easy score card.

The Church Hopping Score Card

1. If you leave without even getting out of your car because you can’t find a good parking spot = +1 point

2. While visiting a new church you park in the pastor’s assigned parking space = +1 point

3. You get a free first time visitor’s gift = +2 points for each gift

4. You only visit once but still have the boldness to say, “I just didn’t feel like I connected with the people at that church” = +1 point

5. You refuse to come back to a church if not enough people said hello to you = +1 point

6. You refuse to come back to a church if too many people said hello to you = +1 point

7. Like the closely guarded secret formula of Coca Cola, you’re the only one that knows the correct number of people that should say hello to you = + 2 points

8. You visit on the Sunday the church is having a first time visitor’s lunch = +1 point

9. You take leftovers home from the first time visitors lunch = +2 points

10. You bring your own cooler to first time visitors lunches in anticipation of the leftovers = +3 points

11. You sit in a seat someone has sat in for 14 years running and they do the awkward stand and pause move right next to you before shuffling away in complete bafflement at who this person is = +3 points

12. You come long enough to benefit from everything the church offers but never actually volunteer for anything = +1 point

13. You have a pre planned little speech you give in case the church asks first time visitors to stand up and introduce themselves = +1 point

14. You have a “Hello My Name” is _______ sticker ball at home that is bigger than a soccer ball. = +2 points

15. You can easily name the three churches in town that have the best coffee = +1 point

16. During the “meet and greet” you use a pseudonym because you’re not sure if this is where God wants you to go to church yet = +1 point

17. You have a secret list of “if this happens at this church I’m outta here” = +1 point

18. You’re more than happy to tell the people around you why you didn’t like your last church = +1 point

19. The amount of traffic in a church parking lot weighs heavily on your decision to attend = +1 point

20. You have a scrapbook made entirely of bulletins to chronicle your travels = +1 point

How’d you score? Hopefully, really, really low, because all of those are pretty ridiculous. But had I measured that in college, I would have scored pretty high.

I hope you find a church you love. I hope if you’re hopping you’ll stop long enough to be real with a few people. And if not, I hope you’ll get some really good first time visitors gifts and send me a photo of your welcome name sticker ball. Who wouldn’t want to see that?

(stuff that christians like)

Church Hopping?

2011-11-29T10:41:00.000-05:00

by Steve Cornell

Well-churched areas make fertile soil for the proverbial church-hopper. I know this because I’ve been a pastor in such an area for more than 26 years! Lancaster, Pennsylvania is an unusually churched community. This comes with blessings and challenges. The Churches exert great influence and perform countless acts of service to our larger community. But in well-churched areas, the ecclesiastical pattern is often the rotation of the saints. The Church furniture keeps moving. The fish swim from fish bowl to fish bowl. The sheep sample a variety of flocks. Perhaps it’s just human nature to take good things for granted when surrounded by so much blessing. But how should we think about this trend?

Most pastors would be willing to admit that too many people leave churches for superficial reasons. The span covers anything from music styles to carpet colors. Sometimes people leave because of disappointment with the pastoral staff not meeting their expectations. Some leave because they can’t (or won’t) get along with other church members. Community always tests the integrity of one’s walk with Christ. We are not called to walk alone. Yet walking together is a challenge. The little quip is well-heard:

“To dwell above with saints we love will certainly be glory; to live below with saints we know, that’s a different story!”

Before I am misunderstood, I believe there are some good reasons for leaving a Church. And to be completely fair, I acknowledge with sadness that the overall health of local churches is poor. Many Churches find themselves struggling through identity crises under weak leadership. This leaves people with feelings of instability and a desire for confident leadership. Pastors are often to blame for taking Churches through changes without teaching the people why it is necessary or helping them understand the biblical validity of the new direction. Change is never easy but it’s even harder without the instruction to prepare for it.

Over the years, we’ve had many people join us who have left other Churches. When this happens, we (leaders) try to make sure they’re leaving on good terms and for good reasons. We always appreciate it when they don’t treat their departure lightly. For some of these people, leaving their Church has been an agonizing and even heartbreaking trial. We have people come to us from Churches they attended their entire lives. Though strongly convinced they must leave, the process is painful. I see it on their faces when they begin to visit with us. I know that they need time to work things out and adjust. But I encourage them not to linger too long because we all need true biblical community in our walk with Christ (see: Hebrews 3:12-14).

Good reasons for leaving a Church

There are good reasons for leaving a church. False doctrine, unqualified leadership, misguided focus (lack of commitment to evangelism and discipleship), absence of accountability for righteous living,— these are issues to be taken seriously. But leaving a Church should not be taken lightly. Even if a believer has good reasons for leaving a Church, it should be done in a respectful manner. This should involve communication and appropriate expressions of appreciation. When speaking to others about the Church you are leaving, it should be done with honesty but as respectfully as possible. Good decisions are made in response to God not in reaction to man.

A closer look at Church hopping:

The problem of Church hopping is an example of the overall instability of our culture. It often reflects a deeply troubling trend of how easily people slide in and out of commitments. “Commitment” has become a revisable term in almost all spheres of life. With the prevailing discontentment in our culture, people are endlessly looking for something better. But better, often means more exciting, entertaining– more satisfying to the ruling self. I believe that Churches calling for higher levels of commitment should expect to be smaller. Although I pastor a relatively large Church, in 25 years of ministry as a senior pastor, I have often witnessed this disturbing trend. Please don’t take this as a slam against all mega-churches, but I truly believe that our Church would be much larger if we lowered the bar of commitment.

Confessions of a Church hopper:

In an article entitled “Confessions of a (Recovering) Church-hopper”, John Fischer acknowledged that, “In our free-market, commodity-rich society, it’s understandable that we would approach church as we would a shopping mall of spiritual products and services. This is the way our culture operates. In our hymnals we can still find those great hymns of the church like ‘A Mighty Fortress’ and ‘The Church’s One Foundation,’ but in our worship and practice we are probably more consistent with the Motown hit ‘You Better Shop Around.’”

Fischer describes the following scene from a church-hopping family: “‘Where shall we go this morning, dear?’ he says. ‘The music is great at Calvary but I like the teaching at Grace.’ ‘Don’t forget the kids,’ she says. ‘The youth program at Bethany is the best of all.’ ‘I’ve got it. We’ll drop the kids off at Bethany and go to Grace for teaching, and then we can start going to the Saturday night worship and praise services at Calvary.’”

What’s wrong with this picture? Fischer suggests at least three things:

First, we become critical consumers.

“As consumers we reserve the right to pass judgment on the products and services we use, and the companies that service us begin to cater to our demands. ‘The customer is always right’ may work well at McDonald’s, but in a church it undermines the authority of the Word of God and the leaders God has called to represent Him. We do not go to a particular church to decide whether that church is doing everything right, but to hear from God and humbly find out where we went wrong that week in our own lives and what we need to do to make it right.”

Second, we become invisible spectators.

“Church-hopping turns you into a nondescript pewsitter. A number. A statistic. When you’re shopping around, you never stay in one place long enough to know anybody or be known. We like this because we have gotten into a habit of being anonymous in our culture. Church-hopping helps protect anonymity we already possess, and it keeps us alone.”

Third, we become detached from what we are.

“When you were a child, did you ever make a church with your hands folded together, forefingers pointed up like a steeple and all your fingers interlocked inside? Remember opening your hands to see all the people? Well, that’s exactly it. We are the church. You and I are the fingers and toes and eyes and ears of the body of Christ. To be only a spectator in church is to detach yourself from who you are — like cutting off your fingers.”

A word of caution to pastors:

Be wise in how you receive those who “hop” your way. Don’t feel obligated to receive all of them and watch out for those who “secretly slip in among you” (Jude 4). Make sure that people leave a Church for good reasons and on as good terms as possible. I am convinced that the leadership and identity crises in Churches force many growing Christians to move on to places where they can flourish for God. But their attitude in leaving is crucial. Never allow someone under appropriate biblical discipline from one assembly to join your Church. Remember this well established rule: Church hoppers who hop your way and gush praise all over you (while criticizing their former church) will soon leave your Church with the same critical attitude. Finally, never advertise your ministry in a way that encourages people to leave their Churches because you have something better to offer them. Jesus said, “I will build my Church.” We dare not work at cross purposes with Him.

Steve Cornell

Amazon

2011-11-25T18:57:00.000-05:00

Source: Frugaldad.com

2011-11-24T09:42:00.002-05:00

Oh come, let us sing to the LORD;
let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
For the LORD is a great God,
and a great King above all gods. . . .
Oh come, let us worship and bow down;
let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!
For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture,
and the sheep of his hand.

(Psalm 95:1-3, 6-7)

For Single Guys-Driscoll

2011-11-22T12:09:00.001-05:00

8 Reasons Why Single Men Should Work in the Church Nursery

by: Pastor Mark Driscoll on Nov 22, 2011 in Discipleship, Marriage, Parenting

I think my love for kids started with my grandpa George. He died in 1980 when I was ten years old. I still think of him often. He loved me, and I loved him. He was a retired diesel mechanic and a big guy who wore overalls and taught me how to handle power tools as I worked with him in his garage.

Riding in his car was always great because he kept in his glove box a bag of Tootsie Roll Pops with their fudgetastic center. When we went out to breakfast, the waitresses always dropped by our table to hear him tell a story—and he was hilarious. And when I stayed the night at his house, we’d sneak up while Grandma was asleep to eat caramel apples and watch wrestling on TV—“Rowdy” Roddy Piper, The Sheik, Andre the Giant, and my favorite, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka.

The kids in my grandpa’s neighborhood loved him too. They often dropped by to see what he was working on in his shop. And when the ice cream truck drove by, they would stop, get whatever they wanted, and he would always come out and pay for it all.

I loved my grandpa. And I miss him.

One thing he left with me was a deep love for children. I just picked it up from him, as did his daughter, my mom. Growing up at the oldest of five children, I looked forward to one day being a dad.

As a new Christian and college freshman, my first ministry was taking care of a bunch of young kids during a daytime women’s Bible study. It was the best. The kids were super fun, and on any given week I had anywhere from maybe 10 to 20 kids under the age of five for a few hours without any help. Those hours included crackers, juice, Bible stories, wrestling for the boys, and tea parties for the girls. The moms were surprised that a 19-year-old single guy would volunteer for the nursery, but I’m glad I did. And I’d encourage the same for other single men. In fact, I have nine reasons why single men should work in the church nursery:

It helps you learn what Jesus meant by child-like faith

When you tell a kid that Jesus walked on water, they don’t defer to Hume and enlightenment presuppositions about the miraculous. They say, “Yeah!” and their eyes get big because they believe what the Bible says.

It helps you learn about God as Father

When you interact with kids, you are reminded that to God you are just a kid and that you really need your Father. Every guy, including the one in a suit making more money than he can ever spend, is just a Fudgsicle-faced kid to the Father.

It opens up your heart to children

This causes you to view such things as sex and women differently, less selfishly, and more biblically.

It helps you pick a wife who will be a good mom

When you hang out with kids, you realize you need to marry a woman who is more interested in building a good legacy than just having a good time.

It helps you learn how to be a good father

Some guys are afraid, repelled, or ignorant of kids. Get over your fears and prejudices by hanging out with someone else’s kids a few hours a week, and learn how to interact with kids well.

It’s important for kids without a dad to have godly, male investment in their life

Young boys without a dad need the godly investment of a man. Young girls without a dad need a godly man’s loving encouragement. And the single moms really appreciate godly men investing in their kids.

It’s a good place to meet a nice gal

Single guys may not know this, but nice, single gals who love Jesus and want to marry and become a mom someday are working in the nursery. That’s like fishing in a trout pond if you’re a single guy. And the single moms dropping off their kids should be considered for marriage too. After all, Jesus’ mother was a single mom until Joseph married her and adopted Jesus.

Jesus did

Our God came to earth as a single guy and hung out with kids. They loved him. They didn’t crucify him like the religious folks. If you want to learn about Jesus and become more like him, spend more time with kids like he did.

(pastormark.tv)

Christmas Songs by Hawkins

2011-11-21T16:19:00.001-05:00

You know it's true.....

Tebow

2011-11-18T08:14:00.000-05:00

The Broncos were 1-4 before Tim Tebow took over five weeks ago. Since Tebow has been starting, they have gone 4-1 to improve to 5-5 on the season.

Dawgs!

2011-11-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

People are Awesome

2011-11-13T20:50:00.002-05:00

Carrier Classic- Go Heels

2011-11-12T16:37:00.002-05:00

Death by Comparison: Justin and Trisha

2011-11-08T13:44:00.001-05:00

I want to talk about a deeper part of our heart and mind that we probably don’t allow others to know about too often. This type of comparison is subtle and it is often illusive and justified. If the death of our heart begins as we compare ourselves to others, the death of our marriage begins when we compare our spouse with someone else.

This isn’t a conversation we have out loud all too often, but these thoughts can flood our heart and mind. The conversation goes something like this:

I wish my husband was as romantic as her husband
I wish my wife complimented me like she compliments her husband
I wish my husband spent as much time with our kids as her husband does
I wish my wife worked out and took care of herself like his wife does
I wish my husband was as good of a listener as her husband
I wish my wife could cook like she cooks
I wish my husband was handy and could fix things like he can

This is the first stage of comparison. But if left alone and unidentified, these feelings can quickly move to the next stage.

I wish my wife respected me like my secretary does
I wish my husband complimented me like my co-worker does
I wish my wife was as in shape as the lady in my spin class
I wish my husband was as good of a listener as my boss

The moment we start comparing what our spouse isn’t to what someone else is, we open the door for disconnection and fractured intimacy. Even if our comparison isn’t followed by romantic feelings, there is an aspect of our heart that is withheld from our spouse.

The reality is when we wish our spouse was more like anyone other than Christ, we place an expectation on them to be something that they were never designed to be.

One of the practical things that Trish and I have done over the past five years is to tell each other what we love about the other. Rather than to compare what we aren’t we compliment what we are. It has drastically changed our relationship. Instead of resenting what we don’t bring to our relationship we celebrate all that we do bring to our relationship.

Maybe the best thing you could do for your marriage today is to tell your spouse all that you love about them rather than all that disappoints you about them.

(www.refineus.org)

Forgiving your Spouse

2011-11-07T18:58:00.000-05:00

By Winston Smith
Forgiveness is incredibly powerful. If it could be bottled, a daily dose would probably save a lot of marriages. But what, exactly, does it mean to forgive? What are the “active ingredients”? How do we learn to forgive?

Embracing what Jesus has done for us and extending that in thought, word, and deed to others is the essence of forgiveness. In forgiving one another, we draw on the forgiveness that Jesus has given us by making a decision to release another from the penalty of sin. Rather than drawing a curtain and pushing each other away, we push sin and judgment away and draw near to each other. Put as simply as possible, forgiveness is releasing the other from the penalty of sin so the relationship can be restored.

Think about forgiveness in terms of four basic decisions that reflect the way God forgives us:

A decision to release. Forgiveness means letting go of your right to punish another and choosing through the power of God’s love to hold onto the other person rather than his or her offense.

In the process of forgiving, the first barrier you have to remove is within yourself. You have to decide to let go of the offense along with your desire to punish the offender. You have to decide to see your spouse instead of the offense. Often the decision to let go has to be renewed daily, hourly, or even more often. The bigger the offense, the more challenging it can be to let go; but the less you ruminate on the offense and feed your anger, the easier it becomes.

Understanding forgiveness as a decision to let go is important because we often confuse forgiveness with our emotions. When this happens forgiveness ebbs and flows as our emotions ebb and flow. When we don’t feel angry, we think we’ve forgiven, but when anger resurfaces it seems we’re back to square one. Just when we think an issue has been laid to rest for good, it pops up again. While forgiveness affects and can bring relief to our emotions, it’s much more than an emotion. It’s a decision we make based on our worship of God to forgive as he forgives. God’s forgiveness isn’t a declaration of emotion but a declaration that his people are forgiven and pardoned from their sins just as a judge would dismiss a case from a courtroom. In that sense, forgiveness is a decision, a declaration, a once-for-all-time pronouncement.

But what if you can’t stop thinking about it? When you dwell on an incident, it may mean there are lingering questions or anxiety about what’s happened. Look for unresolved issues or unanswered questions. Are there hurts that you never revealed? Is there something missing or wrong in the way your spouse is dealing with his or her sin?

Also explore the possibility that there’s a hidden benefit to dwelling on the incident. Sometimes we prefer to live in a self-protective cocoon of anger rather than risk the trust required to forgive. Holding onto an offense may afford a sense of moral superiority over our spouses and distract us from having to look at our own hearts. If this is the case, focus on God’s love and mercy and ask Him to help you forgive. You may also want to enlist the encouragement and prayers of wise friends or a counselor.

Forgiving isn’t the same as forgetting. It isn’t a divine form of amnesia. God doesn’t ask us to live as people without a history or pretend that sins never happened. In fact, being able to recall how God has delivered us through marital storms, empowering us to confess, forgive, and overcome, can give us hope and an anchor in future storms. Stories of forgiveness and reconciliation can also become part of the way you seek to strengthen and encourage others in their marriages. Remember that it’s one thing to dwell on an incident with thankfulness for how God has worked in your marriage but quite another to dwell on it and find you anger and hurt reawakened.

A decision to sacrifice. God’s forgiveness required the sacrifice of His Son to pay the penalty for sin. Our forgiveness requires sacrifices, too, though of a different sort. Your suffering doesn’t atone for your spouse’s sin, but you’ll have to sacrifice in several ways:You’ll have to accept the wound that you’ve received from your spouse. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen or running from it. Face the pain of the offense and the discomfort of talking about it, so your spouse can know how you’ve been hurt and have an opportunity to turn from sin and receive mercy and forgiveness. Forgiveness is a sacrifice in the sense that you’re choosing the more difficult path. You’re sacrificing the temporary comfort of ignoring the problem or the temporary pleasure of erecting a wall of bitterness and instead doing the hard and sometimes painful work of moving toward the one who has wounded you.

It also means that you’re letting go of any future payback. You’re sacrificing all of the moments that you’ll want to remind your spouse of how he or she has wronged you, wanting to cause the same kind of pain you’ve been caused, taking comfort in the power of making your spouse earn back your love and affection.

An important way that you sacrifice your claim to justice is by refusing to bring up the matter in a harmful way. That means, for example, no subtle digs and not using it as a trump card in the next argument. This is an extension of your decision to release your spouse from penalty. If you’re successfully putting off negative musings then you’re much less likely to use the incident against your spouse in the future. If you repeatedly bring up the matter for the purpose of hurting your spouse, reaffirm you decision to release him or her from penalty. Reflect to see if you’re regularly reviewing the hurt in your mind and why.

The key phrase in this commitment is “in a harmful way.” Even in the context of a conflict, it may be helpful to understand how a current problem is related to a past problem. Being able to identify a pattern of problems in marriage can lead to a deeper understanding of what’s going on beneath the surface. So, for example, a wife who has recently sinned by losing her temper over several different incidents may need to be encouraged to notice the rising tide in her anger. A loving husband would naturally want to help her think through and understand what’s driving the recent spike in anger, to get beneath events to underlying issues. That doesn’t demonstrate a lack of forgiveness but wisdom and love.

A decision to trust that God is up to good. As Jesus sacrificed He had to entrust Himself to God. He had to trust that God would really deal with the sin that He, Jesus, was paying for. He trusted that forgiveness would make a difference and that His sacrifice was not in vain. He trusted that God would protect Him, even raise Him from the dead. He trusted that God would renew and restore His people.

You, too, have to trust God when you choose to forgive. You have to trust that God will both heal your hurts and use your sacrifice to restore your relationship. When you forgive you have to trust that you aren’t being a fool, but that God will work through your forgiveness. Your forgiveness doesn’t guarantee a change in your spouse, but it does guarantee that you’ll grow and that you’ll be protected from bitterness. Trust that forgiveness is the path that God provides to draw back the curtains that separate you and your spouse. Trust that forgiveness will renew your marriage.

Finding the "right man"

2011-11-03T09:19:00.000-04:00

Romance in Marriage?

2011-11-02T16:58:00.002-04:00

In Yo Face!

2011-11-02T16:01:00.002-04:00

Military Dad reading to his daughter

2011-11-01T16:09:00.000-04:00

Remembering Stackhouse and Wallace

2011-10-31T21:00:00.002-04:00

Go Heels!

Death- DeYoung

2011-10-31T08:42:00.000-04:00

When You feel like Death.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others who have no hope.

Everyone has affliction. Both Christians and non-Christian mourn. They hurt. They suffer. Loved ones die. Tragedy happens. Everyone grieves. Christians too. We are not immune to suffering. We are not somehow above it all, as if we were promised in this life nothing but success and ease and happiness. We grieve, as much or more than anyone.

But not as those who have no hope.

The Christian cries differently. Our tears are not tears of hopelessness. Death is not the end. There is a hope we have that the world does not have. To be sure, there will be fine sounding platitudes at any funeral you attend. And sadly, the empty, content-less cliches and platitudes show up at Christian funerals too. But we have something more than inspiring words or some vague notion about a place in the clouds or singing with the angels or looking up to grandpa as he watches down over us. We have a firm hope that is grounded in the work of Christ.

1 Thessalonians 4:14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.

There’s the difference. We do not grieve as those who have no hope, because Jesus died and yet he lives. There is no more important event in the history of the world than the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. And if you believe that Jesus (Son of God and Son of Man) died for sins and rose again on the third day–if you truly believe that to the depths of your being, it will change everything.

The churches get packed out on Easter because, at least ostensibly, all these people believe in the resurrection. We love magnificent hymns like “See What a Morning” and “Christ the Lord is Risen Today,” where we sing out our faith in the resurrection of Jesus. We recite the Apostles’ Creed and the Nicene Creed, where we confess that on the third day Jesus rose again from the dead. We gather for worship on Sunday as a reminder that the stone was rolled away and the women discovered the empty tomb on the first day of the week. When we truly believe all of this, it changes everything.

1 Thessalonians 4:15-18 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.

When we are hurting, when we lose a husband or daughter or grandmother, when we face our own mortality–whether in a month or a year or a decade or seven decades–when we gather around the hospital bed to pray with the sick and dying, when we comfort the afflicted, do we talk about the resurrection? Do we talk about Jesus? Do we talk about the empty tomb? Or do we offer empty platitudes and nothing more than the well-meaning sympathy that says, “I’ve suffered too,” or worse, that God suffers with them? Do you tell them in a casual sort of way that everything’s going to be alright? Do you rebuke them for their doubts? Or do we encourage one another with our faith in the resurrection?

We can have hope in the midst of affliction, because our God raises the dead.

2 Corinthians 1:8-11 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessings granted us through the prayers of many.

Burden and Despair

Corinth was a posh city. Certainly many people were poor, but there was lots of prosperity. One of the things it seemed the Corinthians struggled with was accepting suffering as a part of Christian discipleship. The mystery cults, Emperor worship, the whole context of Corinth encouraged a spirituality of triumphalism and pleasure and success. We have many of the same dynamics in this country. We have great prosperity around us (although less than it once was), plus a self-help therapeutic worldview that says we can manage our happiness, not to mention all the voices telling us to dream it and do it, name and claim it, believe and receive.

Yet, into this world of ours speaks the word of God, just like it spoke to the Corinthians. Paul says, “I don’t want to hide anything. I don’t want to sugar coat this. You need to know what following Jesus entails. Count the cost. You can’t be a Christian and be ashamed of suffering. I’m not ashamed. I do not want you to be ignorant of the rough time I’ve been having.”

We often hide our afflictions. Maybe we think real Christians shouldn’t feel the way we do. Or maybe we want to seem stronger than we are. Or maybe we sense that missionary letters about our struggles won’t keep the support checks coming. Or maybe we just don’t want to discourage others. For whatever reason, we are not real with very many people. Where I’m from there’s a saying that everyone has a Dutch front. If you go to these little Dutch burgs in America, you’ll see a lot of stores on main street with these nice looking fronts that resemble what you might see in the Netherlands. Unfortunately, many people in these towns put the same sort of nice looking fronts on their lives too. We are not any different.

But look at Paul. “I am struggling in Asia,” he says. No one knows for sure what he’s talking about. Paul might be referring to the riot that happened in Ephesus in Acts 19. He might be talking about an illness that’s flared up. Or he might be referring to an imprisonment or some other persecution we just don’t know about. Whatever is was, it was bad. He says, “We”–and I think this is the royal “we” although he could be talking others who have suffered with him–”were so utterly burdened beyond our strength.” The RSV says “utterly, unbearably crushed.

Did you know the great Apostle Paul felt that way at times? Psalm 44 says “Our soul is bowed down to the dust; our belly clings to the ground.” Psalm 88 ends by saying “my companions have become darkness” or “darkness has become my only companion.” Job says very pointedly in Job 10:1 “I loathe my life.”

Do you ever feel that way? I’m not talking about suicide. There’s never any sense that Job or Paul or David thought about taking their own lives-that’s wrong, and if you feel that way get some help immediately. But we do see people in the Bible who felt utterly, unbearably crushed. You can think of reasons why people feel like this as well as I can: depression, chronic illness, death of a friend, abuse, hurt, disappointment. There are a hundred ways in which we can feel burdened beyond our own strength.

And they aren’t always the big ways: cancer, dying, infertility. Those are burdens for sure, bigger than most, but sleeplessness is a burden. Aging parents can be a burden. Feeling overwhelmed with your housework is a burden. Feeling like you have the squirreliest, most disobedient kids on the planet is a burden. Feeling like you are behind in every area of your life and you will never have time to catch up is a burden. Feeling like you have too many responsibilities and you do all of them at a level between mediocre and poor is a burden. Does this resonate with you?

I feel like I have lived to this point an incredibly blessed life. There are a lot of griefs and struggles and bad circumstances that I have been spared. And yet, I’ll tell you there are days where verse 8 resonates with me. I get hurt. I get weary. I get discouraged. I waste my time. I don’t pray enough. I don’t feel like I am doing much of anything the way I’d like to. On some Mondays (though this is less frequent than it used to be) I get post-preaching mini-depression and feel like another Sunday came and nothing changed, nobody was helped, people probably got upset, I don’t know what I’m doing or how to do it. I take off my glasses and rub my eyes and pull at my hair.

I hear the Apostle Paul loud and clear. And so do many of you. You have days, maybe weeks or years, where you are burdened beyond your strength, like a boat weighed with too much cargo, like a traveler whose backpack is overloaded and he can’t take another step. That’s how all of us feel at times and how some of you feel right now.

Paul says he despaired of life itself. This may mean he didn’t think he could go on any more. He wanted to go home to be the Lord. That may be part of Paul’s point. But I think the main idea is that Paul thought this was the end for him. He felt like he had received a death sentence. Whether he was in a riot of persecution and he was sure he was a goner, or he was in prison and actually had been sentenced to death, or perhaps he got sick and was convinced he was not going to better—whatever the situation, Paul didn’t think he was going to live. He didn’t think he was going to make it. He was on death row as far as he was concerned. What hope was there for the future?

(Kevin DeYoung)

Jerusalem in ESV study Bible

2011-10-31T08:25:00.000-04:00

For a quick snapshot of how Jerusalem expanded from the City of David, to the time of Solomon, to the time of Hezekiah, to the time of Nehemiah, to the time of Jesus—this gives a nice overview.
(Justin Taylor)

Boundaries in Marriage

2011-10-27T13:11:00.002-04:00

Anyone can fall morally

If you think that’s… “something you could NEVER do” then you are one of those most vulnerable. We have to face the fact we live in a fallen world, and in the wrong place at the wrong time with the right person, we all could make a HUGE mistake.

So here’s the deal. Don’t go there! Set up predetermined boundaries that will allow you to “tap the brakes” before it’s to late.

Some good boundary ideas could be like…

Other than your spouse, never be alone with someone of the opposite sex.
Let your spouse read all electronic communications, E-mail, Facebook, Twitter and Texts
If you are deleting Text msgs…Why? (Smells like trouble)
Give a friend the password to your accounts, knowing they will check them
Don’t take a second look! 3-second rule, then don’t look again.
If you feel your spouse isn’t meeting a need…COMMUNICATE!
If a non-spouse says or does something that “attracts you” never speak with that person alone.
Understand the needs of your spouse (“His needs Her needs” book is a good place to start) and be willing to change and adapt to meet them
Talk with your spouse DAILY about things that are going on, and how you feel about things

The above can be exhausting at times, but stick with it. You won’t be sorry

These are just a few, care to add any to the list?
(by: artie davis)

Brice Johnson welcome to The Hill!

2011-10-26T09:12:00.001-04:00

New recruit Brice Johnson!

I can't paint but this dude can.

2011-10-26T08:37:00.002-04:00

Joel Osteen says Mormons are Christians

2011-10-25T14:29:00.002-04:00

He really needs to study up on Mormon doctrine. What do you think?

Doubt?- Jared Wilson

2011-10-22T23:33:00.002-04:00

I recall during my twelve year-old salvation crisis (brought on by my developed fear of the rapture) being told the illustration of a young girl who was being hounded by the Devil every day. The evil accuser challenged her salvation, lying to her about her conversion and shaking her assurance. An angel of the Lord came to her and took her to a tree in which she had carved the date of her decision, three years earlier. The angel said, “The next time the devil comes to accuse, you show him what is carved in this tree.”

This is a neat little story, and at the time, as dubious as my conversion at six years of age seemed to me, it prompted me to say the sinner’s prayer again and mark the new date. But looking back now I find it theologically tenuous and practically useless for the cause of assurance. My decisions are a shallow hope indeed. These days when the devil comes to accuse, I show him what is carved on my Savior’s hand. I rebuke him not with some sentimental tree memorializing my own spiritual movements but the tree upon which the Son of God was sacrificed for me.

--Jared C. Wilson, Gospel Wakefulness (Crossway, 2011), 30

J.C. on false teaching

2011-10-20T08:12:00.002-04:00

If we would hold fast that which is good, we must never tolerate or support any doctrine which is not the pure doctrine of Christ’s Gospel. There is a hatred which is downright charity – that is the hatred of erroneous doctrine. There is an intolerance which is downright praiseworthy – that is the intolerance of false teaching in the pulpit. Who would ever think of tolerating a little poison given to them day by day? If men come among you who do not preach “all the counsel of God,” who do not preach of Christ, sin, holiness, of ruin, redemption, and regeneration, and do not preach of these things in a Scriptural way, you ought to cease to hear them.

~ J.C. Ryle

The importance of preaching by Jack Hyles

2011-10-18T14:21:00.000-04:00

Jack Hyles said this:

Oh, how America needs preaching! When John Knox left Scotland, the country had deteriorated morally and spiritually. Finally John Knox decided to return to Scotland. It is said that on every street corner the word was being spread, "Knox is coming! Knox is coming! Knox is coming!" The entire country was filled with electricity because the preacher was returning. Scotland needed Knox. England needed Spurgeon. America needed Moody, and this old sin-cursed world needs preaching again! In Isaiah 61:1, Isaiah called himself a preacher. In Luke 4:18 Jesus was a preacher. In II Peter 2:5 Noah was called "a preacher of righteousness." In Ecclesiastes 1:1 Solomon was called "the Preacher." In I Timothy 2:7 Paul said that he was "ordained a preacher." In Mark 1:14 we find that Jesus came to Galilee "preaching the Gospel." In Matthew 3:la we find, "In those days came John the Baptist, preaching." In Jonah 3:2 Jonah was admonished to preach to Nineveh the preaching that God bade him to preach. Acts 8:4 says, "Therefore they that are scattered abroad went every where preaching the Word." In Acts 14:1 we find that they "so spake" that multitudes believed. Oh, how we need some "so-speakers!" Preaching is exactly that. It is "so-speaking."

The most important hour of the week in a nation is the hour when God's men approach the pulpit.

Preaching saved Nineveh, ignited Pentecost and turned the Judean wilderness into a Baptist revival.

When the man of God approaches the pulpit, let angels stop flying, let Heaven's hosannas hush, let adults hearken and children listen, let young people be alert, let Heaven respond, let Hell tremble, let ushers sit down and listen, let the church wait in holy expectation, let all eternity tremble, let Satan and his angels be anointed with fear!

Preach! pt 2

2011-10-17T13:16:00.000-04:00

Preach!

2011-10-13T21:16:00.002-04:00

Is it basketball season yet...

2011-10-12T10:21:00.002-04:00

Siri is a game changer- iPhone 4s

2011-10-11T22:07:00.000-04:00

Faith glorifies God..

2011-10-11T20:24:00.002-04:00

We give glory to God when we trust him to do what he has promised to do–especially when all human possibilities are exhausted. Faith glorifies God. That is why God planned for faith to be the way we are justified."
— John Piper

Grieving- Paul Tripp

2011-10-10T20:41:00.000-04:00

Grace for Our Grieving

Then Samuel went to Ramah, and Saul went up to his house in Gibeah of Saul. And Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the LORD regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.

The LORD said to Samuel, "How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons" (1 Sam. 15:34-16:1).

For anyone in ministry, this is an interesting and informative moment in the life of Samuel. Samuel was prophet in Israel. He clearly loved Saul. He clearly longed for Saul to be a godly king, but Saul was everything but. Now, God had turned his back on Saul and had torn his kingdom from him. It was a devastating moment for Samuel and all of Israel. Samuel was overcome with grief. At some point God comes to Samuel to say,"The time for grieving is over. My plan marchers on. It is time for you to turn and be part of the new thing that I am doing."

Ministry, this side of eternity, will be marked by moments of grief like Samuel's. Perhaps it will be the death of a vision, the need to discipline a trusted and influential leader, the knowledge of someone plotting against your God-given authority, sinful division among leaders, a resistant congregation, or a catalog of other difficulties that can obstruct and divert the ministry of a pastor and his congregation.

Here are some practical pastoral observations that flow out of this passage.

1. God grieves. It is important to remember that the God you serve is a God who grieves. He is not stoic and without passion. 1 Samuel 15:35 makes this very clear. The regret in this passage is not about God wishing he could take back his decision (see 15:29). No, it is more grief at the sad outcome of the heart choices of Saul. The appropriateness of Samuel's grief and yours in these moments is rooted in the holy grief of God.

2. You should grieve. What kind of prophet would Samuel be if he did not look on this situation with great grief? The ungodly, proud, selfish, and unrestrained rebellion of Saul was this prophet's nightmare. Pastors, there are moments in local church ministry when it is not only right to grieve, it is your calling to grieve. You must, as God's representative, faithfully depict the heart of God in these sad situations. You must not be uncaring. You must not be happy. You must not take a proud I told you so posture. Your ministry should be marked by moments of mourning in the face of the damage sin continues to do.

3. Your grief always reveals your heart. In his grief, Samuel almost lost his way. Perhaps wary was a tug in his heart between his love for Saul, his grief at Saul's demise, and his loyalty to the work God had called for him to do. So, God says, "You've grieved long enough, now get up and do my will." The length and extent of your grief always reveals what is important to you. The size of your grief always depicts what you have attached your hope to. The nature of your grief reveals what you have attached your inner well-being to.

4. Some grief begins to question God. Because grief challenges you at the point of the deepest values of your heart, it can tempt you to question the goodness of God. The danger of grief in your ministry is that in it you may be tempted to doubt the one whose grief you are called represent. In these sad moments we must be on guard against mourning morphing from, "I am so sad that . . . " into a "Why, God, did you . . ." anger. The danger is that you cannot represent well one against whom you are angry and you do not run for help to someone you have come to doubt.

5. Your grief should motivate, not paralyze you. When your grief causes you to want to quit, you know that you are not holding your grief in a biblical way. Moments of pastoral grief should motivate you because they stand as stark and clear reminders of the important gospel work God has called for you to do. As long as sin remains, these moments of grief will stain the lives of all of God's people. It is only when God's powerful grace finally defeats sin that our lives will be grief free. Until then, grief calls us to proclaim the grace that alone has the power to defeat what we grieve.

6. There's grace for your grieving. We all need to remember that we never grieve alone. Because God is a God of tender mercy and grace, he weeps for and with his people. He always gives you the grace you need to do what he calls you to do in the places where he leads you. He is the God of all comfort who comforts us in our suffering so we can bring his comfort to others.

So let yourself grieve, represent the heart God in your grief, guard your heart against the dangers of grief, and remember the empowering grace that makes all of these things possible.

(Gospel Coalition)

Jobs....

2011-10-07T20:49:00.002-04:00

Your apology can lead to change.

2011-10-06T16:47:00.001-04:00

Always Sorry....Never Changing: sound familiar? Read how Justin and Trisha eventually solved this problem in their marriage.

About three months before the affair started, Trisha and I got into one of, if not the biggest arguments we’d ever had. Our disagreement started out small but continued to escalate and get louder and more mean as the night went on. I inherited a pretty volatile temper from my dad, so even though I don’t like conflict, my fuse was pretty short, especially when it came to Trish. I don’t remember what our argument was about, but I do remember how it ended. I said, “You are such a b*tch.”

She was done. I realized I had crossed a line. We went to our separate corners.

Later that night, I went to apologize. We were sitting in the hallway outside our bedroom. I said, “I want you to know I am really sorry. I’m sorry for yelling. I’m sorry for calling you names. I’m really sorry.” Trish said, “You are always sorry. You just never change.” I remember feeling so hopeless in that moment. That statement was so true. It was not only true about me, it was true about both of us. We were always sorry, but we never changed.

Unfortunately, it took the affair and our separation for us to move beyond being sorry and to move into being changed. One of our biggest areas of conflict has always centered around money. Trisha would go to Target and buy $40 worth of toiletries and I would go off about how much money she spent. We would get into an argument that would end the same way every argument would end…both of us feeling sorry but hopeless to change.

What I realized when we were separated is that change comes when I am sorry for more than just my behavior. I was always sorry for yelling. I was always sorry for cussing. I was always sorry for my short temper. I was always sorry for overreacting. It wasn’t until I was sorry for the condition of my heart that I was able to change. My issue wasn’t the $40 that Trish spent at Target…my issue is that I am a control freak and don’t like feeling out of control of our money. So it didn’t matter if it was $10 or $400 the argument and my reaction were always the same. Once I identified the core problem in my heart, I asked God to heal that part of me, I was able to change my reaction.

Maybe today you are in a place where you feel like you are always apologizing, but you are never changing. You’re temper is as bad today as it was four years ago. You have the same arguments today that you had when you first got married. You are sorry for going off on your kids. You are sorry for getting home late. You are truly sorry for screaming and yelling. You’re sorry…you just aren’t changing.

Can I encourage you today to look deeper. Look beyond your behavior; look beyond your reaction; look beyond your argument and look inside your heart. There is brokenness in you that is driving your behavior. That is what God longs to heal. That is what God longs to make new.

Your apology can lead to change. It won’t be overnight, but it will come.

(refineus.org)

Signs your marriage is in trouble..

2011-10-05T08:19:00.000-04:00

1. You think that the absence of conflict equals the presence of intimacy.

2. You find yourself keeping certain details of conversations or events from your spouse.

3. You say you forgive but you are really resentful.

4. You care more about being right than being one with your spouse.

5. When you get dressed in the morning, you are hoping that certain person at work notices you.

6. You look for opportunities to run errands, do chores, or work late so you can spend less time at home.

7. You say you’re sorry but you never change.

8. Sexual intimacy is rarely offered or pursued.

9. You are more emotionally connected to another person than you are your spouse.

10. You can’t remember the last time you had a conversation of substance that wasn’t an argument.

11. You haven’t gone on a date with just your spouse in over three months.

This list doesn’t mean that you’re marriage is over. This list means that your marriage is drifting. You don’t avoid these things by accident. You choose to avoid this list. You make a decision every day to walk in the other direction of this list. We are here to help you avoid this list. You don’t have to walk alone.

Ready for Basketball Season...

2011-10-05T08:11:00.000-04:00

Woman hears herself for the first time!

2011-10-03T18:36:00.000-04:00

She introduced the video by saying :I was born deaf and 8 weeks ago I received a hearing implant. This is the video of them turning it on and me hearing myself for the first time :) Edit: For those of you who have asked the implant I received was Esteem offered by Envoy Medical. Sarah Churman.

Go. See. It. Courageous.

2011-10-02T21:28:00.002-04:00

Ready for #6

2011-10-01T11:28:00.001-04:00

Carolina is one of only four schools - and the only one in the ACC- that have won 5 or more NCAA Championships.

The Church

2011-10-01T00:23:00.003-04:00

“We must remember that there is but one institution in this world that will also exist in the world to come. It is not one’s country; it is not even one’s family. It is the church of God.”

Facemask

2011-09-28T18:10:00.002-04:00

For His Glory- Chandler

2011-09-28T08:34:00.000-04:00

God created us for His glory (Isaiah 43:6-7). I want you to think about this. The reason you exist, the reason you are is for the glory of God, the name and renown of God. The praising of His infinite perfections, that’s why you exist. You’re not here for fellowship. God was not lonely and decided to make you because He was just tired of being alone after eternity of being alone. God was perfectly content within the Godhead. God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit did not need to create you. He did create you for the praise of His glorious grace. That’s why you exist. It’s the reason you’re alive.
God calls Israel for His glory (Isaiah 49:3). “And he said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified."”
In Jeremiah 13:11, we find out that He tells the nation of Israel, “I didn’t pick you guys because you’re awesome. I picked you because you were the smallest, crummiest tribe there was.” So even with Israel, it wasn’t about Israel. In fact, even to this day, God delights in making much of Himself through people who are lacking. You should be very grateful for that.
God rescues Israel from Egypt for His glory (Psalm 106:7-8). “Our fathers, when they were in Egypt, did not consider your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love, but rebelled by the sea, at the Red Sea. Yet he saved them for his name’s sake, that he might make known his mighty power.”

God raises up Pharaoh to show His power and glory (Romans 9:17). “For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."” I know Romans 9 is a wildly unpopular Scripture, but it’s in the Bible. You ought to check it out. In Romans 9, the Scriptures tell us that God allowed Pharaoh into the pinnacle of human power. So Pharaoh pretty much is ruler of the world at that point in history. He has a slave force of millions, a massive empire and a massive army, and the Bible tells us that God gave him all of that so He could crush him to show that man at his pinnacle is tiny compared to God on His worst day. We see that even the destruction of Pharaoh was about the name of God.
God defeats Pharaoh by the Red Sea to show His glory (Exodus 14:4; 17-18). “And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host, and the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD." And they did so. . .And I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they shall go in after them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host, his chariots, and his horsemen. And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten glory over Pharaoh, his chariots, and his horsemen.”
God spared Israel in the wilderness for the glory of His name (Ezekiel 20:14). “But I acted for the sake of my name, that it should not be profaned in the sight of the nations, in whose sight I had brought them out.” I have never ceased to be comforted by the fact that God never just outright destroys the nation of Israel. They get it right for a couple verses in the Old Testament. Right behind almost every verse of commendation is, “All right. You want t go that way? We’ll go that way.” And so God never destroys them or completely annihilates the nation of Israel, and He does it for the sake of His name.
God gave Israel the Promised Land for the glory of His name (2 Samuel 7:23). “And who is like your people Israel, the one nation on earth whom God went to redeem to be his people, making himself a name and doing for them great and awesome things by driving out before your people, whom you redeemed for yourself from Egypt, a nation and its gods?”
God did not cast away His people for the glory of His name (1 Samuel 12:20-22). “And Samuel said to the people, "Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. For the LORD will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for himself.”
God saved Jerusalem from attack for the glory of His name (2 Kings 19:34; 20:6). “For I will defend this city to save it, for my own sake and for the sake of my servant David. . .and I will add fifteen years to your life. I will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria, and I will defend this city for my own sake and for my servant David’s sake.”
God restored Israel from exile for the glory of His name (Ezekiel 36:22-23; 32). “Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord GOD: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came. And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them. And the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Lord GOD, when through you I vindicate my holiness before their eyes. . .It is not for your sake that I will act, declares the Lord GOD; let that be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, O house of Israel.”

You are not cool

2011-09-26T15:47:00.000-04:00

by RW Glenn

At the Psalm 119 Conference in Boston, Todd Friel showed video of churches doing astonishing things in public worship: a pastor dressed up as a Transformer, complete with digitally-altered "robot" monotone voice; a pastor mounting a white horse (an actual horse) riding into the worship center like one of the Knights of the Round Table, only wearing a suit.

Then Todd asked us speakers what, if anything, we found troublesome or problematic about this approach to ministry.

Here are my two cents:

All of these antics are rooted in pragmatism, pure and simple. If it works to achieve our ends, then it's right. The logic goes like this: We want more people to hear the gospel. People will only come to hear the gospel if you dress up like a Transformer or ride a white horse. Therefore, dressing up like Bumblebee or becoming Will Rogers is a perfectly legitimate way of doing church.

Now this logic is problematic on many levels, not least the implicit denial of the power of the gospel alone to save those who believe (Rom 1:16). But I would also argue that it fails on the grounds of the very pragmatism that drives it. Bottom line: non-Christians do not think it's cool! They think it's hokey, silly, and inauthentic.

I have talked with my friends who aren't yet Christians about churches that do things like this, and to a man they've said that it's ridiculous. And my instincts tell me that they aren't alone. People who are really cool can tell when people who aren't cool are trying to be cool and it totally turns them off. We need to get over ourselves. If you're a Christian, you gave up being cool as soon as you said, "I love you" to Jesus Christ.

Put simply, the pragmatists are unpragmatic. Their practice is philosophically self-defeating. The moment they try to be cool to attract cool people is the moment every cool person leaves their church.

I should add that I feel qualified to speak this way about pragmatism because I, too, am a pragmatist. If God is our creator, he knows the perfect strategy for marketing the gospel to his creation: preaching Jesus Christ and him crucified (1 Cor 2:2). No bells, no whistles. The unadulterated gospel, pure and simple. So wouldn't it be the most pragmatic, common sense thing to do to adopt his strategy? He has a great success rate. Every single person who has ever been saved was captured hook, line, and sinker by it. Why not give it a whirl and see what happens? It could be the most pragmatic thing you've ever done.

Churching the Unchurched?

2011-09-25T15:33:00.001-04:00

"Churching the unchurched is an absolute fallacy – it is like purposing to let the tares in. It is absolutely bizarre to want to make unsaved people feel comfortable in a church. The church is not a building – the church is a group of worshiping, redeemed, and sanctified people among whom an unbeliever should feel either miserable, convicted and drawn to Christ, or else alienated and isolated. Only if the church hides its message and ceases to be what God designed the church to be, can it make an unbeliever comfortable."

John MacArthur

Piper- exercise pt.2

2011-09-22T12:18:00.000-04:00

I just don’t like being overweight. My pants fit funny. I can’t see my belt. When I was about 19 I went golfing with some overweight evangelists. They said, “Well look at that flat stomach on Johnny. Just give him another ten years.” At that moment something happened inside me. I said nothing out loud, but inside I said, “It’s not going to happen.” I suspect there was sin in that. But the resolve is still there.

Quickly, another disclaimer: There is a difference between obesity and gluttony. I was set straight on this one after I made some hurtful blunders. Some people are overweight who have issues very different from gluttony. Never assume that overweight equals lazy and undisciplined.

For Purity and Productivity

Today, my main motive for exercise is purity and productivity. By purity I mean being a more loving person (as Jesus said, “love your neighbor,” Matthew 22:39). By productivity I mean getting a lot done (as Paul said, “abounding in the work of the Lord,” 1 Corinthians 15:58).

Underneath most of my besetting sins is despondency. I am less prone to such melancholy when I hammer my body three times a week. The reason could be endorphins. Could be ego. Whichever, it’s cheaper than Prozac or psychotherapy. I’m simply happier. And I sleep better. I have more energy.

Most of that energy goes into the Bible and preaching and people. And the fruit from that is, I hope, edification. Which means I exercise to be a more loving person and a better pastor.

How the Spirit Produces Fruit

If you ask how the fruit of exercise relates to the fruit of the Spirit, my answer is this: The Holy Spirit produces his fruit both directly and indirectly. He can zap you in your worst moments and make you kind. But he often does it indirectly.

For example, if you are impatient when you get little sleep, and if patience is a fruit of the Spirit (which it is, Galatians 5:22), very likely the Holy Spirit will not only remind you of the sufferings of Christ and the glory of God’s promises, but he will also give you the humility to stop being God and to bed at 9:30.

And if you sleep better when you regularly exercise, then the Holy Spirit will also give you the humble discipline to exercise so that you sleep better so that you are more patient. If he does it that way, it is still his fruit.

I could add that doctors say being fit will help protect me from a hundred diseases and bad effects of aging. I suspect that’s true. But if that were my main motive, I probably wouldn’t drink Diet Coke.

So, in short, I have one life to live for Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:15). I don’t want to waste it. My approach is not mainly to lengthen it, but to maximize purity and productivity now. I want to show as much gospel truth and publish as much gospel truth as I can. I have found, for 43 years, that exercise helps. I think God set it up that way.

Piper on Exercise pt. 1

2011-09-21T08:35:00.001-04:00

First, a disclaimer: Some godly people who exercise regularly and eat well drop dead at every age. And some sedentary overeaters live to be ninety. Our days are set by God, not us. You won’t live a day longer or shorter than God decides. But keep in mind that some people have survived the plunge over Niagara Falls. That doesn’t make it wise.

I Took Up Jogging

Till I was 22 I didn’t exercise, I just worked and played outside. Since physical activity was part of my life (like it is for most of the world) I needed no exercise plan.

Then I married and went to seminary. Almost all physical work and play vanished. What remained was random. So I became a jogger. I’ve been a jogger ever since. That was 43 years ago. I jogged several times a week in Pasadena (and survived the smog). I jogged in Munich, Germany for three years. I jogged when I taught at Bethel in St. Paul. And, since coming to Bethlehem as pastor, 31 years ago, I have jogged pretty much every week.

I also walk to church rather than driving, most of the time. I figure a modest estimate is that I have walked the distance between my house and the church 10,000 times. It is exactly 600 paces from my front door to the church door. You can do the math. I think its been good for me. One thing I know for sure, I hear from God on those walks like no other time.

Back to jogging. I would guess that the average has been about nine miles a week for 43 years. I am intentionally using the word “jog” rather than “run”. I am pokey. There was a season between ages 28 and 38 when I ran farther and faster (say eight-minute-miles for an hour). The farthest I ever ran was 12 miles with Tom Steller in the early eighties.

No more. At 65 I jog three times a week for about 30 minutes at about an 11-minute-mile pace. In case you wonder, that’s slow.

About Six Hours a Week

I love to play. Love it too much probably. So there have been seasons where this jogging routine has been supplemented by more or less regular racquetball, handball, or basketball. But I’m not good at any of those. So I hold most people back. It’s better for me to go solo. I can set my own pace.

There have been seasons when I biked a lot. I rode with my son across Minnesota. I still take my road bike out now and then for 10 or 15 miles.

In the last year, I have added a weightlifting regimen to the jogging three times a week. I am told that people in their sixties start to lose muscle mass, whatever that is. And the solution is weights. So now there is about 30 minutes three times a week on weights at the Y. My total weekly investment in physical exercise these days would be about six hours, counting dressing and showering and travel.

(desiring God)

Pat Robertson-- shut up!!

2011-09-19T14:20:00.000-04:00

This is terrible!

To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.

The Earth

2011-09-19T12:47:00.000-04:00

Time-lapse from the International Space Station:

Colonel Jeff Williams—a member of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod—has seen this first hand. He has orbited the earth over 2,800 times, more than any person in history. He has also captured more photographs of earth than any person in history. You can view his 2006 photos and biblical reflections and commentary in the book The Work of His Hands: A View of God’s Creation from Space. He says, “Spaceflight definitely gave me a new perspective on the world around us and provided a transcendent view of things above and beyond the immediate elements of life . . . viewing the earth from space brought a new significance to the truth of many familiar biblical texts.”
(Justin Taylor)

Love Tap.

2011-09-17T10:03:00.001-04:00

Love Tap from Mike Goode on Vimeo.

Fortune Cookie

2011-09-15T21:14:00.000-04:00

so that is how they do it :)

I can't do this!!

2011-09-13T09:24:00.001-04:00

I can't do this with a basketball but I can beat Cory and Jon Presnell every time I play against them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The President reads Psalm 46

2011-09-12T14:23:00.000-04:00

Be a dawg not a Cat! Amen

2011-09-09T13:43:00.000-04:00

Coastal Carolina football coach David Bennett gave one of the more interesting/bizarre press conferences earlier this week prior to his team's game against Catawba.

(sports illustrated)

Tough job!

2011-09-08T15:56:00.001-04:00

Men fixing the antenna on top of the Empire State Building.

(click pic to enlarge)
And you thought you had a tough job :)

(22 words)

Preaching by MacDonald

2011-09-08T08:34:00.000-04:00

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 2 Timothy 4:1-2

Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel. 1 Corinthians 9:16

I preach the Word; that’s what I do.
I preach because I have to do it. I don’t sense a choice in the matter at all.
I preach because nothing else can satisfy the urgency and passion that God has ignited in my heart for His truth and His people. The same should be true for you. If you can go sell cars or shuffle stocks instead of being a pastor and preacher of God’s Word, then go do that.

“For all the difficult trade-offs that come with living your Christian life in public, we get the joy of holding God’s Word in our hands, rightly dividing the Word of truth, and watching it change lives. That’s so much bigger than having free weekends.”
James MacDonald

Hey Bro... err maybe not...

2011-09-08T08:30:00.002-04:00

Parenting is Hard....

2011-09-05T11:17:00.002-04:00

Ever feel like a Duck..

Honor

2011-09-02T10:02:00.000-04:00

Glory of God: Honoring in Word and Deed

Malachi 2:1-9

…if you will not take it to heart to give honor to my name, says the LORD of hosts, then I will send the curse upon you… (v. 2a)

The minor prophets, like Malachi, were the Lord’s prosecuting attorneys. They brought God’s charges against Israel. Malachi here singles out the priests. They performed their sacrifices, but not with the prescribed offerings. They executed judgments, but did so with partiality. They instructed the people, but not according to knowledge. They were religious good-for-nothings, dodging their commitments (1:7) and grumbling about their service (1:13).

The particulars of their sin, with obscure Levitical laws and animal guts, seems strange to us. But the root problem is all too familiar. They tried cutting corners with God. Going through the religious motions does not honor God, neither does a casual commitment to Christ without a real concern for obedience. Suppose you had a great college professor you really liked. Outside the classroom you got to be good friends. You had a wonderful relationship. But you didn’t do your homework, study for tests or hand in papers on time. No matter how warm you felt in your heart toward this teacher or how often you showed up for class, he would not feel honored by you. God is glorified not by mere activity or a show of emotion, but by heartfelt obedience to his word.

(Kevin DeYoung)

Brazil Got Talent!

2011-09-01T10:45:00.002-04:00